Yesterday, May 23, was a momentous occasion–and not just because the unicameral Parliament of Finland gathered for its first plenary session on that date in 1907. For Laura and me, it meant only two months left in the Philippines! So often here on sweaty afternoons the time seems to move no more quickly than a stray dog lying in a patch of shade, and yet here we are, 83.3% done with this time that has changed us forever. Return tickets are bought, furniture is going to be sold, and on July 23, all we’ll be left with is an empty tile-floored apartment, six obese suitcases, and a raft of memories.
As any of you who have traveled much can relate, for even the minimally perceptive hominid, foreign countries prompt continual cultural comparison. On sabbaticals with my family as a kid, I’d noticed a few things; for example in Israel: “Wow, this random family’s doorstop is older and has more significance than anything in the entire US!” Or England: “This is the coldest I’ve ever been without snow, and they have black currant-flavored everything.” Figuring out life with a spouse, however (instead of depending on parents), and working with natives multiplied this process. As chronicled here, the observations piled up as we adjusted to a new culture, but with our departure looming, we finally wrote them all down. See if you notice an over-arching theme:
Won’t Miss |
Will Miss |
| pollution | Bae (the women at Samaritana) |
| lack of nature nearby | stunning scuba diving |
| tiny biting ants and giant cockroaches everywhere | $7 massages |
| roosters | mangoes |
| distance from friends and family | having lots of time together |
| “not available” at stores & restaurants | Tagalog moments (i.e. when we get it) |
| Manila’s constant noise and crowds | Manila’s energy |
| permanent daytime sweatiness | warm nights |
| bad hair for Laura’s curls | great pinoy hair |
| double ATM fees & budgeting with cash | fewer worries about money in a simpler life |
| being a target | preferential treatment because we’re white |
| being stared at | Laura being told she’s beautiful frequently |
| few fresh vegetables in Filipino cuisine | awesome & only-in-the-tropics fruits |
| bad “bahala na”–resignation about problems | good “bahala na”–life’s too short to be anxious |
| sex tourists | physical affection, especially between women |
| filtering water | street food |
| deadlines not being very deadly | not stressing about time |
| opening bags for security guards | shockingly cute kids |
| rampant corruption | emphasis on relationships |
| Filipino food | Neighborhood balut guy (although not the balut) |
| running circles at UP, our only option for exercise | feeling fast compared to local joggers |
| expensive local calls | prepaid (cheap) cell phones |
| lack of independence | no gas & car insurance payments |
| not being rooted at a church | Samaritana community |
| dirty rainwater splashing on legs | Epic thunderstorms |
| Absence of food & wine connections | Fulbright connections |
| hitting my head on things | feeling tall |
| tripping on uneven floors & sidewalks | the way Life happens on the streets |
| everything being such a production | having time be our own |
| dressing shabby | $2 pedicures |
| concrete back “yard” | not paying for home repairs |
| obnoxious DJ’s & sound effects | everyone singing along |
| ubiquitous, competing pop music | Joniver Robles playing the blues |
| no legal DVD’s or streaming tv shows | cheap movies at the theater |
| books being expensive & plastic-wrapped | being respected because we’re writers |
| dirty feet | wearing flip-flops all the time |
| tough local meat & expensive, imported dairy | the palengke’s scruffy charm |
| Rarely having hymns at church | Paula & Brian, prayer partners & friends |
| deafening bus horns | roller-coaster-esque “ordinary fare” buses |
| difficulty planning travel | beauty of the provinces |
| benighted attitudes about birth control | Four months of Christmas season |
| hanging out at malls | Sebastian’s ice cream sandwiches |
| not being able to flush toilet paper | living someplace tough and non-touristy |
| Pinoys’ obsession with being maputi (pale) | beautiful kayumanggi (Filipino brown) skin |
| not having appliances | having house helpers |
| neighbor’s yappy dog, who wakes us up nightly | kasama (companion) culture |
| worrying about getting ripped off in cabs | riding on the outside of jeeps and trikes |
| eternal traffic | pinoys’ instinctive driving |
| difficulty communicating | stretching our brains |
| feeling like we have little control | enforced dependence on God |
As the picture may have given away, what we gradually came to appreciate is that even in a crowded, dirty, noisy place like Manila, it is possible to be charmed. Would we want to stay here for the rest of our lives? We’re not sure–but as the list shows, it’s not as simple a question as one might think. Likewise, is our life “better” in the United States? Yes and no. But wherever we happen to be, I hope we can be a little more content–and a heartfelt thanks and borderline-alarming bearhug to all of you who made this possible.
— Nate
Free Is a Verb 